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The Mustache Experience – Experiments With A Hairy Face
- Women said I should shave, unanimously. (my wife, especially)
- Men gave me false confidence and all repeatedly complemented me. (wasn’t my end goal, but nice to receive the vote of confidence.)
Now, here’s what happened when I shaved 4/5ths of my beard and left a rabbit’s tail on my upper lip:
1. Women were absolutely horrified (especially, my wife.)
I received insults, such as:
- You look like a pedophile.
- It looks like something died on your face. …and, is rotting.
- You look like a pornstar.
- Don’t go to parks, or parents will freak out.
- You should really shave that, immediately. What are people going to think?
2. Men loved it. (and were SUPER enthused.)
I received compliments, such as:
- You look like a handsome fellow.
- You look like Popeye.
- You look like the Magnum PI porn star! Look out Ron Jeremy!!
- OUTSTANDING! I love it.
- I would NOT shave that. I think it makes a statement when you walk into a room.
…effectively, all extremely positive feedback. And even a possible career opportunity!
Amazing discrepancy though, huh?
How disappointing.
Interestingly, the mustache was significantly more polarizing for people as they interacted with me. As the days went on, I’d forget I even had it, have to step back and think, and wonder why interactions weren’t the same as normal:
Some women exerted a forceful power, others couldn’t even make eye contact and had eyes of intimidation; only a few snickered.
Men pretty much let me do whatever I wanted, no matter how unreasonable. I was instant alpha with the demonstration of protruding hair on my lip.
*NOTE: My advice for the man that could use a raise at work: find a great fake-mustache you can sport at work (don’t get caught!) and take it off when you come home. I’m pretty sure you’ll rise to the top of the company. Or, grow a real mustache, prepare for the worst at home, and invest in your future. Once you get to the top, you can figure out what to do next.
**SECOND NOTE: The female mustache may not accomplish the same thing and could potentially work against you. In this situation, it’s best not to have a mustache, in my opinion.
Men, have you ever had a similar experience?
I’m all for you growing hair on your face, but so are most guys. Just imagine it in reverse, and I think you might realize why it’s not working for us anymore…
or
Ladies, have you ever felt you were in a similar position for something silly?
I can only imagine the social pressures you experience to not ever get caught without make-up, shaved legs, armpits, etc. It’s a lot to keep up with, but does it really make this kind of blatant difference when you walk out the door?
Please comment below.
