The Mustache Experience – Experiments With A Hairy Face

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The Mustache Experience – Experiments With A Hairy Face

You wouldn’t think a little flap of fur on your lip, a warmth of fluff acting as cheek pads, or a smile slightly hidden behind food stuck on your face would cause that much damage. But… apparently, it does.
Here’s what happened when I grew a full beard:
  1. Women said I should shave, unanimously. (my wife, especially)
  2. Men gave me false confidence and all repeatedly complemented me. (wasn’t my end goal, but nice to receive the vote of confidence.)

Now, here’s what happened when I shaved 4/5ths of my beard and left a rabbit’s tail on my upper lip:

1. Women were absolutely horrified (especially, my wife.)

I received insults, such as:

  • You look like a pedophile.
  • It looks like something died on your face. …and, is rotting.
  • You look like a pornstar.
  • Don’t go to parks, or parents will freak out.
  • You should really shave that, immediately. What are people going to think?

2. Men loved it. (and were SUPER enthused.)

I received compliments, such as:

  • You look like a handsome fellow.
  • You look like Popeye.
  • You look like the Magnum PI porn star! Look out Ron Jeremy!!
  • OUTSTANDING! I love it.
  • I would NOT shave that. I think it makes a statement when you walk into a room.

…effectively, all extremely positive feedback. And even a possible career opportunity!

Amazing discrepancy though, huh?

How disappointing.

Interestingly, the mustache was significantly more polarizing for people as they interacted with me. As the days went on, I’d forget I even had it, have to step back and think, and wonder why interactions weren’t the same as normal:

Some women exerted a forceful power, others couldn’t even make eye contact and had eyes of intimidation; only a few snickered.

Men pretty much let me do whatever I wanted, no matter how unreasonable. I was instant alpha with the demonstration of protruding hair on my lip.

*NOTE: My advice for the man that could use a raise at work: find a great fake-mustache you can sport at work (don’t get caught!) and take it off when you come home. I’m pretty sure you’ll rise to the top of the company. Or, grow a real mustache, prepare for the worst at home, and invest in your future. Once you get to the top, you can figure out what to do next.

**SECOND NOTE: The female mustache may not accomplish the same thing and could potentially work against you. In this situation, it’s best not to have a mustache, in my opinion.

Men, have you ever had a similar experience?

I’m all for you growing hair on your face, but so are most guys. Just imagine it in reverse, and I think you might realize why it’s not working for us anymore…


Ladies, have you ever felt you were in a similar position for something silly?

I can only imagine the social pressures you experience to not ever get caught without make-up, shaved legs, armpits, etc. It’s a lot to keep up with, but does it really make this kind of blatant difference when you walk out the door?

Please comment below.

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Dr. Kareem Samhouri

Dr. Kareem Samhour is known as (perhaps) the best Doctor of Physical Therapy & Kinesiologist on the internet. People come to him for results when other methods fail, injury gets in the way, or health situation is more complicated. Dr. Kareem Samhouri exercising In fact, he and his companies reach a combined total of 1.5 MILLION people on a daily basis to help them with their health. If you ever saw Dr. Kareem on the street and mentioned something was going on with your health, however, he would volunteer and offer to help you for free... that's the Dr. Kareem way.

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