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Sex is beautiful; it’s the union of two souls.
Sex is meant to be an act of intimacy, whether done with excitement and creativity or traditionally in an effort to make a baby. Either way, it’s about sharing love.
Over the years, I’ve spoken to a lot of people about sex, albeit patients, friends, or family. Many people have alternative views of sex, try to have sex with as many partners as they can, and see variety as the key to a joyful sex life. What they are missing is the deep, intimate connection that comes from a state of vulnerability and a decision to share love.
Often times, the person who seeks tens or hundreds of sex partners separates ‘sex’ and ‘love’, and feels dissatisfied in the union between a man and woman, man and man, or woman and woman. Personally, I have no judgment on the decision of how you spend your life, with whom, or how you see sex.
However, what I will share with you is that relationships are one of the key factors in health. We have about 7.3 billion people on our planet; of them, over 4 billion people suffer from some form of chronic pain and disease. Relationships are one of the key factors we can use to determine someone’s health, and often times, require repair before we can work on the other areas.
If you’re not happy with the community around you, or in other words, your connection to people, animals, and nature, it’s difficult to be happy, period. The main reason for this comes down to: vulnerability.
Vulnerability is the decision you make to let your guard down and stop being alone. It’s the first step to improving your life.
Sure, I realize there are different models for sex, based upon ancient times and the origin of humans. The idea of a tribe of women sharing responsibilities for parenting and supporting one another with feelings and hormones is an appealing one to me; likewise, the idea of an alpha male becoming the dominant male for reasons of reproduction can be seen as a sensible one demonstrated by many animal species in nature.
The strange thing is, people who subscribe to this arrangement for sex often discount the need to be truly intimate with one or more people. ‘Tribal arrangement’ and ‘intimacy’ are not necessarily mutually exclusive. If what works for you is a setup like our ancestors who may have had this sexual arrangement, more power to you. However, please don’t lose sight of the point of sex: intimacy and vulnerability.
If you’re able to be intimate with multiple partners, or you choose multiple partners for reasons of procreation, enjoy. Or, if you appoint someone in your community who is stronger, smarter, and more capable in this world to be the source of new life, that’s up to you. That’s vastly different than lying, cheating, and misleading partners for the illusion of your own personal benefit.
Regardless of your view of marriage, consider the importance of sharing yourself with another person. Consider how meaningful it is to have someone — or multiple someones — with whom you can share your life. And please consider what happens when you work together to set an example of healthy living and love for your children: self-improvement.
Self-improvement leads to evolution of humankind, and a better world. When we all strive to be our best, and to show our children what ‘healthy living’ looks like, our children grow up with a life-long advantage.
When our children see love, and they understand relationships take work to survive and flourish, they gain the tools necessary to form healthy relationships in their own lives. They learn not to give up. Over time, they learn to advance our species.
*IMPORTANT NOTE: We are only as capable as our level of consciousness to make a great decision. This means we are likely to choose someone who is at our level of consciousness in a relationship. If one side grows and improves, and the other side refuses to, it may turn into an unhealthy relationship. I do understand how this can lead to divorce or separation, even in a well-intended household. I consider this different, because love comes first, and self-love is the first step in loving. If we are to truly set an example for our children, we must be the example first. As a second example, if you are in an abusive relationship and the other side has no intention of improving, I get it. Take care of yourself, find love, and become vulnerable in another relationship(s), so your children can learn from your courage and determination to be healthy and loving.
Remember every decision you make is a choice; choices lead to lifestyles, and lifestyles lead to quality of life. When you treat the people around you with love, love finds you and opens your heart. Be love; that’s all we are anyway.
Sent to you with love and compassion,
