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What do you do when life moves a mile a minute?
Personally, I’ve been going through a state of complete and total overwhelm for a few weeks now. It’s been challenging. While I’ve had plenty of awesome moments, I’ve also had many of life’s greatest challenges to face at the same time:
- Relationships dynamically changing by the day (or even by the hour, sometimes)
- Parenting at full speed
- International travel
- Self-questioning, regarding important life decisions
- Mentoring, knowing that my influence will carry weight for years to come; and on the other side, being questioned by mentors who I have come to love and trust, yet knowing — on a very deep level — that I am pursuing a path for the highest good in my life and those I love
- Love, being redefined and reorganized in my life
- Career and finances, with some of the best and worst I’ve experienced taking place at the same time
- Lack of external support, at a time when I feel I’ve needed it most
So, I thought I’d do a few things today:
- Share which strategies I’ve used to handle this moment in my life, in hopes my strategies can help you someday, too.
- Ask for your help and support,energetically speaking, because we rise and fall together.
- Ask for your guidance or any advice you might have.
I recognize that life is “easy” for me, compared to so many people; meaning, I get to travel, do things I love, and spend time with people I love on a regular basis. I get to help people, find time for family, and make a difference with my life. My finances are relatively stable and awesome, and my life ‘appears’ to be a dream for almost anyone looking outside-in.
However, this doesn’t negate the fact that I experience a lot of emotional distress. I’ve sought out some of the world’s best mentors and teachers to help coach me through these moments, and I believe in them and their teachings. I’ve also reflected, prayed, written for myself, and done so much more to find peace. Yet, there’s a piece of me that always wants life to be perfect, and refuses to accept anything less than perfection in myself and in those I love.
This creates an emotional disturbance that can be quite shaking.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not outwardly displaying this all the time; yet, internally, I’m feeling it. I want things to be easy, awesome, and always that way. Deep down, I regret when I make mistakes, mistreat someone with my energy, even if not my words. I find fault in the way others speak harshly to me or people I love. I strive to be the best version of myself, and when I see others sit back and accept themselves being unkind and dismiss it, it bothers me.
And then this leads to me mistreating others. Again, not in such a crazy way that anyone might notice from the outside. However, on the inside, I feel like giving up, leaving, or quitting. And emotionally speaking, this is detectable by people who feel more than they think. My thoughts perpetuate, and they create cycles of negative emotions that are palpable by those who are closest to me.
I lose patience, even if not outwardly. I become unkind to myself, and I feel I can — and should — do better. And when I am unable to find grace for myself, I feel like giving up.
This is a pattern in myself that I’ve come to recognize.
- Remember this is a pattern, and one that I can choose to change at any time.
- Recall that the first step is accepting and loving myself through the process, not resenting that it’s there.
- Ask for help from people I trust, who have a more stable emotional base than I have.
- Take time for reflection.
- Let the energy out: screams in pillows, punching/elbowing (upper body movements) a punching bag or pillow, doing a workout, taking a walk, and deep breathing with diaphragmatic holds.
- Energy clearings, in the form of chakra balancing, guided visualizations, and meditation.
- Set strong intentions for the day, and each evening when I go to sleep, so I can have answers to my most pressing questions by the morning.
- Remind myself the answers are not the concern; it’s the self-questioning and self-judgment that is.
- Love and adore the 2 year old inside of me, the one who is responding without thought and out of pure emotional dissidence to the situation. Think of my children, and how I might comfort them, and then envision myself doing this for myself at a young age.
- Remind myself this is one small slice of time, and that in 5, 10, or 15 years, this is hardly memorable, if at all. Remind myself that my life is amazing, and focus on gratitude rather than resentment and judgment.
- Ask the Universe/God for help, and surrender.
- Reassure myself that any major life decisions can be made later, and nothing needs to be decided right now.
- Serve, help, and heal. This is by far the most powerful thing I do; when I choose to be present for someone else — to truly help them — I cannot help but assume a state of being that is healthy for the person I’m helping. My desire to help another person overtakes my desire to question myself, which is part of the reason I’m writing you this newsletter today (as I was feeling this way when I started and am finding tremendous relief in sharing my world with you, in hopes it helps make your world a bit brighter).
So, here I am, hat-in-hand, and I’m asking for your support, guidance, and advice. Do you have any strategies or ideas for me? Can you help me find a more positive perspective?
Today’s thought exercise
Have you ever realized how much you help me by reading these messages? (because you help me at least as much as I help you)
Thank you. I love you.
Sent to you with love, honor, and in service,
