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I’m currently on a journey of self-love. Care to join me?
You see, I spent years and years of my life rating myself as ‘not good enough’. I suppose this was done with the best of intentions, helping me out-perform my peers in school, sports, and career; and, frankly, it worked pretty well.
But what was my internal dialogue? What was I telling myself throughout the day; and thereby, what was I creating as my reality? I think it went a little something like this:
- You can do better.
- C’mon, Kareem, that’s not good enough.
- That’s pathetic compared to what you’re capable of Kareem. Step up.
- You’re not as good looking as so-and-so, Kareem.
- People don’t like me as much as the most popular kids in school, so there must be something wrong with me.
- I’m fat. No girls are going to like me and I’m going to keep getting made fun of until I lose weight.
- You ask too many questions in school, Kareem, even though it helps you understand and remember.
- Why aren’t you making this business profitable faster, Kareem? Is this really the best you can do?
- How come you can’t figure out how to write better? You’ve been doing it for years…
And, with each question/comment, I rose to the occasion, did my best, and overcame the obstacle. I earned self-respect; but what if I ‘started’ with self-respect, instead?
I suppose the questions/comments might switch to sound something like this:
- You’re doing the best you can, and it’s awesome.
- C’mon Kareem, I believe in you.
- You amaze me, Kareem, and it’s time for your best.
- How lucky am I to be me?
- How is it I always choose friends who care about ‘people’ instead of ‘popularity’?
- I wonder if I’ll think it was cute I was chubby when I get older? If that’s the case, I may as well enjoy myself right now.
- Why is it so easy to remember a class lecture if I strategically ask 3 questions?
- How did you end up owning such an incredible business by age 26, Kareem?
- What’s the #1 thing I can do to improve my writing skills in the next few months? And who might I ask for help?
Can you see how this drastically changes the feeling? Does it make sense the language you use — internally — affects your external world?
Personally, I’m delighted to discover I hold responsibility for my own life. In effect, this takes it from life happening ‘to me’ to a state of life happening ‘for me’. I prefer the latter. I prefer not to be the victim. I prefer to choose my own destiny, create my own reality, and take personal responsibility for my internal dialogue; now that I know to make this choice.
Today’s thought exercise:
What do you think? Have you been hard on yourself, as well? Might you benefit from joining me on a 90 day self-love challenge, beginning with correcting your internal dialogue and taking personal accountability for your reality?
I’d sure love to do this together.
Sent to you with love, honor, and in service,
