Perhaps you’ve felt someone has really left you hanging in life, and you swear no one should ever trust this person again? So long as you live, you’re committed to make sure no one else ever has this experience and lets this “evil” person hurt anyone else.
You’re hurting yourself, and in the process, hurting others, as well.
The pain you’ve put yourself through by feeling this way is more than you need to experience, and it’s more than you deserve to feel. Carrying this with you is not about forgiving someone, but it’s about forgiving yourself from pain. When you learn to forgive yourself for this pain — or for allowing yourself to get hurt, however you see it — you’ll be taking a giant leap towards compassion.
The next step is to actually love the person who hurt you, at some level, and in some way. Rationally or irrationally, he acted according to his beliefs, and the result was hurting you in some way, shape or form. Practice compassion, because there is always another point of view.
painful ones, as they may resonate:
- Business — someone may stab you in the back, steal from you, or destroy certain relationships that are meaningful in your life.
- Love — you may have been cheated on, left alone, or abused.
- Rape — the attacker may have left you for dead, stolen your innocence, or spread disease.
- Murder — the criminal may have taken someone you love dearly in this world away from you, forever. And, as a result, broken your family dynamic, and your heart.
- Child abuse — you may have been beaten, disrespected, and felt alone for your formative years. This may feel unforgivable, and like a permanent dent in your life.
Now, at first glance, each of these acts is “unforgivable”, and perhaps the further down the list you read, the less forgivable it gets. But, bear with me… allow me to explain:
Forgiveness — when you forgive an act, you are free to be creative and trust again. Without trust, it’s difficult to love, and without love, the heart is empty, and so is life. Happiness is an afterthought, and something you’ll learn to feel you don’t “deserve”, somehow.
Love or compassion for the person who hurt you — when you do the most difficult thing you can do, and you decide to actually love the person who damaged you and your life, you are repairing yourself, and in time, them. The inner suffering they are experiencing is only going to result in more hateful acts, and the hateful acts they commit are only going to hurt more people.
Now, for some of the list above, it’s probably impossible to imagine a circumstance that you, personally, would commit this act.
You see, it’s difficult to judge from the outside-in. The inner self can be a complicated place. And, if you simply accept another perspective might be possible, you are freeing yourself to love again. You are allowing love back into your life, and when you do, you will be happy again.
You deserve happiness and fulfillment. The person who hurt you deserves to never hurt anyone again, and by learning compassion for her, you will be her first opportunity to correct past mistakes and move forward with light and love.
Ultimately, your forgiveness and compassion may very well be the path to ending this terrible cycle of hate-crimes and hurtful acts. You have a chance to save another person from experiencing what you’ve experienced, and you have a chance to really live, brand new again.
I wish you happiness, health, and love; lots of love.
I’m so grateful for you,
Dr. Kareem Samhouri
Dr. Kareem Samhour is known as (perhaps) the best Doctor of Physical Therapy & Kinesiologist on the internet. People come to him for results when other methods fail, injury gets in the way, or health situation is more complicated. Dr. Kareem Samhouri exercising In fact, he and his companies reach a combined total of 1.5 MILLION people on a daily basis to help them with their health. If you ever saw Dr. Kareem on the street and mentioned something was going on with your health, however, he would volunteer and offer to help you for free... that's the Dr. Kareem way.